FUTURE The big question. What does future look like? Destroyed, nutty, fancy? Is it already written or are we creating it at every second? I have no idea, and honestly I prefer not to think about it too often. In my head, future is still about flying cars, telepathy and three course dinner chewing gums — Willy Wonka, where are you?
I have never really liked the idea of travelling in time to the future. I see this adventure as a disillusion. Going back to the present, I would be afraid to spend my life waiting for something I know is necessarily going to happen. I would not fight anymore for what I really want. Everything would become evident, feelingless, there would be no more magic or surprise, astonishment or terror. I would be afraid not to be able to change the process of time and feel powerless. Of course, it would be comforting in a way. I would know if my dreams came true, if social norms evolved towards more equality, if my family is safe. If I discover when my parents die, I would organize my time to be more present. I would be able to anticipate. But I am already a very organized person, if I could know the future I would control my life even more. I wouldn’t enjoy it as a carefree mind.
So if I really had to travel in time to the future, I wouldn’t go so far, like 1000 years later. I would choose the end of my life — around 80 years-old if I am lucky enough. I would see what I accomplished in my life without knowing either the reasons or the means. I know it will be a bit like knowing the end of a book without having read it: you are frustrated because the final surprise is spoiled, but you still have to discover the details, imagine all the colors, feel the emotions and invent the thougths. You also can see this more coarsely: a dismantled Ikea shelf with the final picture for only instructions. Well, we are not going to kid ourselves, even with instructions we struggle to assemble an Ikea shelf, but I thought this metaphor was pleasant.
Anyways, I think the end of life is an important moment because you can disappear at any time. I would love to have a reflect on what I would have done. Of course, I don’t see me die suddenly, in an accident, so it is easier to imagine what I would do at the very last moment. I would feel releaved to know that I did more good things than bad things. I don’t speak about mistakes but mean actions. I speak my mind very easily and sometimes I am too proud to apologize. So I hope my life will end on a positive note, certainly with some regrets but nothing too relevant to worry about.
It is very hard for me to anticipate my future. As I said previously, I am good at setting goals but I never think of them too precisely. If I do, it scares me. Future is scary because you can’t control it and it can lead you to any path without your approval. Sometimes, it is really great because you go where you wouldn’t have been on your own. You meet people very different from your actual acquaintances. Future is surprising and I think I prefer not to know it before it happens. I also don’t want to create too many barriers before its mood swings sweep my plans away. Let’s get amazed.